2007
Dad has emerged from his apartment this morning, deliberately moving very slow. He shuffles, stops, looks at me. "Good Morning Dad." He sighs, "Mornin." He shuffles a little further and looks at me again. I smile. He sighs. He shuffles all the way to the counter. I know he is looking for some attention. I'm kind of curious how long the show will go on. I drink my coffee and sit on the couch to check my email. I can hear him sighing loudly for my benefit. He stretches to get his cereal bowl, "AHHHHHHH." This is followed by an exaggerated sigh.
I know if I don't say something the show will intensify and could possibly end with a collapse to the floor. I put my coffee down and head over to the kitchen. He stares at me and then winces in pain. "Gee Dad, what's up? You're not lookin too good this morning. Didn't you sleep well?" He shakes his head, "Na I slept all right. I guess I just can't work out like I used to. I've hurt my back."
My father is not in great physical shape. He avoids any type of work at all costs. It wouldn't be fair if I used the word "lazy" however that word comes to my mind often. It's taken us months of training to get him to even take his garbage out to the dumpster. The dumpster is located right outside the garage door. However, he has preferred to just heave his garbage onto the garage floor and then let someone else pick it up. We're not quite sure why he has thought this acceptable. As I've said, with patience and training we have broke him of this habit. His idea of going for a walk is checking the mail. The mail box is at the end of the drive way. He'll go for his "walk" beginning at 2:00 pm everyday. The mail is his mission. If it's not there at 2:00, he'll continue to check it until it comes, usually every forty five minutes or so. Of course there are the odd days when he forgets that he has just checked the mail, and then he is in and out of the front door every ten minutes. These are the afternoons that completely wipe him out.
Now my father wants me to believe that he "works out"? Of course I'm always open for amusement, so I ask "Wow Dad I had no idea you work out! How long have you been doing this?" He smiles, "Oh for months, probably years. Yup, I keep myself fit. I do the old army exercises I learned at camp. Keep myself 'army fit'!" I ask, "Exactly what does this mean? How long does it take you? What type of exercises do you do?" He puts his cereal bowl down and stands in the middle of the kitchen floor. Hands down at his side. He smiles "Watch this!" He lifts his arms out like an airplane, eyes shift from side to side (checking for clearance I guess) then his arms are lifted up above his head, "ONE!" He repeats, hands down at his side and out like an airplane, again looking from side to side, checking for clearance, then up above his head, "TWO!" He is smiling, "Yup I do them all. I work out every mornin' for about an hour, push ups, everything except run the mile. Yeah, I gotta give it up, I'm gettin old."
Just the other day during a routine doctor's appointment, while we were waiting for the doctor, he tried to tell me he runs around the block. When I told him that I had never seen him do that, he looked up at the ceiling, squinted his eyes and said, "Yeah, huh, I guess I don't." So I'm not so sure that I should bother telling him he doesn't do army exercises. What's the point? So instead I say, "Yeah Dad, it's a good idea not to exert yourself too much." After he has his breakfast, he is up and moving just fine. Sometimes a little attention goes a long way.
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